I don't want my in-laws to invite me in any of the ceremonies in their home. What should I do?

I have a 10 years of married life. My in-laws live in the same city where I am. I don't visit my sasural since last 8 and half years as I had found that my in-laws didn't pay due respect to me. In June 2003 when I was there during the marriage ceremony of my brother-in-law my only daughter died on day of baraat. Since then I stopped going my sasural. In 2007 when my son was born my wife intended to spent her maternity leave in her mayka. Very reluctantly I allowed her to go there. During her stay at mayka I didn't talk to her. She should have been back after the expiry of leave but she chose to stay there. One day my father in law made a call to my father and told that your son ie I is demanding Rs. 5 lacs from him for purchase a flat and he was going to lodge a case against us under dowry act. He told my father to get ready to resolve case in the court or police station wherever he liked. Feeling the consequences of this discriminating act I was compelled to go there with my family members and four of our relatives and took back my wife. And I never allowed her to go to her mayka again. Now I don't want any kind of relationship with them. Two marriage ceremonies had taken place since then. They used to invite me every occasion which causes unrest in my conjugal life as I had heated exchange with my wife over the issue of participating in the ceremony. Now another marriage ceremony is going to take place in near future in my sasural. Please tell me where I should categorically forbid my in-laws to give card/invitation to me or I should keep quite.